Response to Bambi - address for Equestrian Site; my views on the search for abiding love

Musings from the desert night....

I was going to put this response to "Bambi" as a comment, but I don't know if many people read the comments, or this blog for that matter, so decided to post it here instead.

Also, if you post a comment, I get it in my personal email which I love, because I get so few comments, but I can't always tell who it's from.  If you want me to write back to you, then email me directly or give me your name if you know for sure I have your address.  I respond to every email I get.  I hope that one day my blog will be so popular that I couldn't possibly write to everyone, but I have a feeling that day is still a long ways off...

So here goes:

Dear "Bambi",

Sorry, I'm not sure how to put site links on here yet, but I'll look into it, along with a bunch of other things I need to investigate in the "social networking" world.

The site I have referred to in this blog is EquestrianSingles.com

I use it mostly to contact people in areas I am traveling through, hoping to get information, tips, riding buddies, offers of places to stay with my horses, and all kinds of other great resources.  So far, some people (usually women) have been very very generous and helpful.

Horses on the move in Norco, CA

On the other hand, men who are looking for romance on that site tend to try to move too fast for me, and I can't get tied down - I must be free to do my Nomad roaming!  So I don't contact men, unless they have an especially well written or interesting profile, which is not very often.  The dating website world really shows the lack of good education most people get in this country...

And beware of the good looking photos, especially if there is only one photo.  In my experience, they can either be a fake or a scam artist looking for prey.  And what is up with the scammer who has no ability to punctuate?  Oh yeah - I forgot.  Computer generated.  Like so:

"i am a model from germany looking for nice place to visit.  i can send check for your 6 month rent and security deposit plus large sum of money for me if you will please cash and send me the money so i can buy my ticket to come and see you. you have beauty horse and i very much love to ride.  i like to gallop on ocean. i have many degrees and want to be an actor when i finish medical school but retarded parkinson brother must also live with me so please send money fast when you cash this."

Can you believe people actually fall for this stuff?

Men on the ES website do contact me from time to time, and often either can't spell or say something stupid that clues me in that I don't want to spend any time around them.  I just think the internet is a dismal place to find romance, although maybe for young people it might be better - just a bigger pool of options to sift through.

I have been contacted by some nice men on the site who seem genuinely interested in my goal to ride 10,000 miles.  Sometimes they offer help, but that is rare.  Rare jewels in a sea of monsters.

I have heard people say internet dating works, but I have never seen anything but disasters for myself and my friends.  Sometimes they make for funny stories in hindsight though.  Like the guy from Massachusetts that flew all the way to visit me in Colorado.  Didn't look anything like his photo but within minutes told me he had a gluten intolerance.  He did not stop talking about it the entire time he visited.

What people don't realize is that ER nurses cannot stand to hear about people's ailments, especially outside of work.  You would not believe what big babies come to the ER.  Grown men crying with a splinter!  Incompetent mothers feeding their babies french fries!  Drug abusers that fake appendicitis or kidney stones to get a fix!

You know who impresses a trauma nurse?  People with multiple open fractures who still manage to say thank you and apologize for bleeding on the floor!

Not that we expect or even recommend that, but it is impressive.  I'm just saying...

If you must go to the ER, try not to complain at all.  Just state the facts -  the less emotion, the better we like you.  We admire and love people with a sense of humor.  You'll get much more attention and  better drugs.  It's true.  I'm letting the secret out.   Especially if you do not cry, wince, whine, shriek, or swear at the nurse.  Here is another obvious secret.  We know who is faking.  And we are irritated with all of you overacting drama queens. Although of course the best of us never show anything but compassion.

You cannot impress us with your symptoms, so say it once, and only if you must.  Just answer the question you are asked.  Don't elaborate, and try to be respectful.  And never, ever, touch the nurse.  We touch you - you don't touch us.  Get it?  OK, now I'll move on.

Back to the guy with the gluten problem.  He simply could not stop.  Every conversation, every meal, every single person I introduced him to just had to be informed of his quirky digestive malady.  By the end of the 2nd day,  I almost killed him.  Well, not really.  Oh, I wanted to really bad, but I did not own a gun at the time so I did not make any attempt to end his life.  Heck, all I had to do was slip him a slice of whole wheat bread, right???? I didn't do it, and I'm sorry to say, he still lives as far as I know.  Thankfully, far away from me.  My girlfriend Carolina still thinks he's worth the most laughs of anyone I have dated on her watch.

And sometimes dangerous disasters happen while trying to find love online.  Like the sociopath I almost fell for.  Well, actually I did fall for the charms of the "Alaskan Devil".  Who then seduced my best girlfriend, on my birthday.  She told him all sorts of false info about my finances. Which led him to break up with me. Because he was after money!  Man, was he barking up the wrong tree.  Charming yes, smart?   - not so much.   Close call?  I wouldn't be living my dreams now if she hadn't accidently helped me out on that one.  Thanks Tina!

So I have learned to avoid the website for romance, but enjoy meeting all the nice horsewomen!  I think it'll make a great resource all the way along the trail....

All you people out there who want to brag about meeting the love of your life online?  I have one thing to say:  "Isn't that nice!"  Now don't talk to me about it again for 3 years.

All these people in the world, and yet I think most of us know how hard it is to find true chemistry and abiding, lasting, respectful love.  To make it last?  Now that is the real question.  My hat is off to all of you who have made it happen.  Genuine happiness longer than 10 years?  Now I'm ready to listen...those are the real love stories....Like my friends Billy and Sheri.  And Jess and Mike.  Paul and Donna.  Lucy and Tom.  Nancy and Art.

I am aware (and somewhat jealous) of a few good relationships out there.

But most people I know are either unhappily married, divorced, madly searching for a relationship or just getting out of a bad one.

You people that just met "your perfect mate?"  Talk to me in 3 years if it lasts that long.  That new love phase is really sickening to the rest of us.  Especially when we meet him/her and can see he/she is all wrong for you.   Double especially if you feel the need to express your lust through displays of affection in front of us.  Yech.   Why oh why do girlfriends not listen to each other on these things?

It's nature's way, it's nature's way.

Sex and the City quote:  "It's the sex haze."

Me?  I'm staying single, at least for now.  I am having too much fun to screw this up.

The Main Males in my life now...

Do you think it's possible that Jerry Seinfeld was correct in saying "85% of the population is undatable!"  (Over 50, I think it's more like 95% or even worse).

Elaine's response:  "Well then, how are all those people getting together?"

Jerry's response:  "Alcohol".

Champagne and chocolate works for me....

Well, at least we can laugh about it!  C'mon - you know it's true!!!